January 2011
70 posts
3 tags
“It smells like someone threw up while having anal sex in here.”
– Marcus, referring to the rest room. But equally applicable to all corners of our house. I cannot wait to throw more parties.
Jan 31st
1 tag
smashed up the gray one
Red (258pm): i just got out of bed. my sunday life is a joke.
Me (259pm): I woke up in my pantz, stoplight flashing, sheets everywhere but my bed pillows nowhere to be found at 9am
Red (300pm): the wearing pants aspect of your morning is very impressive.
Jan 30th
3 tags
“you probably already know this but my third cousin (or second cousin once...”
– My Dad, who appears to have some pretty revolutionary views on the usage of periods.
Jan 30th
1 tag
“…your first party that wasn’t a tailgate was smashing! in fact, quite a...”
– Laura
Jan 30th
Jan 30th
2 tags
I am writing the single greatest or worst 3 page...
Wherein the following topics are covered: My mixing up of names whilst hooking up with a girl Xzibit, Pimp My Ride, and memes Vice-President Biden Guess what the topic is. No wait, this needs to be in question form so you can actually answer it, so: can you guess what the topic is?
Jan 29th
1 tag
“Just saw two squirrels chasing each other while I was listening to the LOST...”
– Jay, via text.
Jan 29th
Jan 29th
1 tag
“Can I borrow a condom? I’ll give it back when I’m done.”
Jan 29th
1 tag
Jan 29th
6 notes
Jan 29th
405 notes
1 tag
Jan 28th
5 notes
1 tag
Jan 28th
1 tag
Jan 28th
1 tag
Jan 28th
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Jan 28th
4 notes
2 tags
When: this morrow; where: the kitchen (third...
Marty: Ugh dude
Jay: Hey
Marty: What a hilarious mistake
Jay: What?
Marty: I'll give you a hint: think late ninties sitcom.
Jay: I give up.
Marty: I said the wrong name.
Jay: (laughs)
Jan 28th
3 notes
1 tag
Jan 27th
2 tags
Jan 27th
1 tag
Jan 27th
Jan 27th
2 tags
Jan 27th
1 note
1 tag
Jan 26th
2 tags
Jan 26th
1 tag
Jan 26th
Jan 26th
889 notes
1 tag
The Doubt
Sometimes I get things forwarded to me from my buddies who are in fraternities. Things which cannot be reprinted here because someday I hope to be vetted for something and posts about the weekend of activities of bros will more than likely harm my choices to get a job/be Commander in Chief. It is when I am reading these emails/facebook messages that I realize there is a little bro in me that is...
Jan 25th
1 tag
Jan 24th
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Jan 23rd
1 tag
Jan 23rd
1 tag
BEAR DOWN, CHICAGO BEARS
Bear down, Chicago Bears, make every play clear the way to victory; Bear down, Chicago Bears, put up a fight with a might so fearlessly. We’ll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T-formation. Bear down, Chicago Bears, and let them know why you’re wearing the crown. You’re the pride and joy of Illinois, Chicago Bears, bear down.
Jan 23rd
5 notes
1 tag
WatchWatch
DETROIT, Mich. (WXYZ) - Police say a man hopped a fence behind Joe Louis Arena and fell straight into the icy waters of the Detroit River.  A former paramedic from Indiana was first on the scene, threw the man  his jacket and told him to grab on to a sleeve. Then he called 911. Dozens of Police Officers along with Border Patrol agents and paramedics rushed to the scene and   worked together...
Jan 23rd
1 tag
Jan 22nd
2 tags
Jan 22nd
1 tag
Jan 22nd
2 tags
WatchWatch
WHAT UP INTERNET I MANAGED TO STEAL THE THING FROM THE BEARS WEBSITE AND TUMBL IT. IT PROBABLY WON’T WORK IN DASHBOARD MODE SO ONLY MY NON-TUMBLR FOLLOWERS WILL ACTUALLY THINK IT IS COOL.
Jan 21st
2 tags
Jan 21st
1 tag
Jan 21st
1 tag
Jan 20th
71 notes
1 tag
Jan 19th
2 notes
“I chair the Bro Round Table. Unfortunately, we’re very busy at the...”
– Dan “The Man,” re: Unofficial
Jan 19th
4 tags
Jan 17th
Jan 16th
3 tags
Jan 16th
Jan 15th
2 tags
Jan 13th
1 tag
Bartlet's Third State of the Union (2.13)
Shallick: This White House uses the First Amendment to protect flag burning, to protect pornography, to ban school prayer. Why, when the Second Amendment clearly says that the government will not infringe upon a citizens right to bear arms--
Toby: It doesn't say that.
Shallick: Toby--
Toby: In fact it doesn't say that at all. It only says that if you remove some words from it. It says "A well-regulated militia, being necessary for the security of a free state, the government shall not infringe." The words "regulated" and "militia" are in the first sentence. I don't think the framers were thinking of three guys and a Dodge Durango.
Shallick: You don't really know what the framers were thinking, do you?
Toby: No. But I do know that if you combine the populations of Great Britain, France, Germany, Japan, Switzerland, Sweden, Denmark and Australia, you'll get a population roughly the size of the United States. We had 32,000 gun deaths last year; they had 112. You think it's because Americans are more homicidal by nature? Or do you think it's because those guys have gun control laws?
Jan 13th
344 notes
2 tags
Jan 13th
1 tag
“These men and women remind us that heroism is found not only on the fields of...”
– Barry Obama’s Remarks in Tuscon
Jan 13th
Jan 13th