March 2012
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February 2012
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WatchWhile the majority of this report is hilarious due to overzealous reporting by a reporter who clearly doesn’t get out much standing roughly five blocks from my house, I can attest to the subject matter. At least once a week (usually Sunday afternoon) I hear what sounds like a swarm of locusts tearing down the street and look out the window to see roughly 16 ATVs popping wheelies. I...
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I am going to Atlantic City for my birthday.
While there, I…
Am going to play at least 100 games of penny slots.
Will find the “kids only” section of any/all casino and attempt to learn how to play poker and/or craps and or the one with the wheel and the ball and the numbers (which might just be craps).
Will loudly proclaim over and over again about how I’ve never seen the ocean before.
Plan to jump in the...
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Anonymous asked: do you formspring?
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norinelamondwebsite asked: Hey there - cool blog you got going! Hope you don't mind if I use some of your content later down the road, great stuff. New follower, can you please follow me back?
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“North Philadelphia is arguably the most dangerous neighborhood in the city....”
– WikiTravel [citation needed]
ANYONE WANT TO VISIT ME?
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JOB INTERVIEW RESPONSES FROM A MILLENNIAL LIBERAL...
BY MICHAEL MCBAIN
“Nice to meet you. Essentially, I graduated from college where I did lots of group projects.” “Define: applicable skills.” “I’m essentially unfamiliar with supply chain logistics. But, I’m on Facebook and Twitter, like, all day, so I could utilize social media to… STREAMLINE, yeah streamline, company tasks. Hashtag, profit maximization.” “I’m not good with “numbers” per...
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“A man must change his oil once every 10,000 miles, my friend. You know what I am...”
– Lino
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PRIORITIES
VISTA 1: Hey man, what're you up to tonight?
VISTA 2: Staring out my window at my car making sure whoever broke the lock off last night doesn't come back to steal the whole car.
VISTA 1: Sh*t really? Well if you want to take a break from that I'm meeting up with some other AmeriCorps folks downtown...
VISTA 2: I dunno.
VISTA 1: It's like 80% girls and they already started drinking.
VISTA 2: DONE. WHERE?
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CBSPhilly: Philadelphia Singles Work To Feed The... →
SUPER notable quote in the above article from yours truly:
I’m the official box opener.
Thirty years from now, you’ll all get to say, “Pffft… I followed President Marty on tumblr back when he was just the official box opener. He used to be cooler.”
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Native: So Marty, where do you live?
Pilgrim: Uh up like a block north of 2nd & Girard.
Native: Ah, up there eh?
Pilgrim: Yeah, right where like Olde Kensington, Fishtown, and Northern Liberties converge.
Native: Up there with all the hipsters, eh?
Pilgrim: Did you see my pants?
Native: Yeah, I wasn't sure if it was hipster or gay.
Pilgrim: Ha!
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ON THE IMPLAUSIBILITY OF THE DEATH STAR’S TRASH... →
BY JOSHUA TYREE
I maintain that the trash compactor onboard the Death Star in Star Wars is implausible, unworkable, and moreover, inefficient.
The Trash Compactor Debate turns on whether the Death Star ejects its trash into space. I, for one, believe it does. Though we never see the Death Star ejecting its trash, we do see another Empire ship, the so-called Star Destroyer, ejecting its...
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